For various reasons (i.e skiing, coursework, killing dragons ect) I haven't been as proactive as I'd like to have been for the past few weeks, but I'm kicking this back up now I've got more free time. Isn't that exciting?
For now, I thought I'd share my flash-fiction-based coursework I did over Easter, which is all centred around the items people sell on eBay around Valentine's Day because they are "not needed". Each item listed is a real thing I found on eBay that I could have bought, and this is also my first time linking many flash fictions together. I hope you enjoy it!
Not Needed
Listed: February 15th 2013
Matching his/hers hoodies and towels. New.
Description: Due to unforeseen circumstances, this is
no longer necessary. Never been worn/used. Contact for more information.
Tom
narrowly dodged a plant-pot flung at his head, which smashed as fast as their
crumbling engagement. The earth clung to the walls, leaving a brown smear on
the bone-white, but he couldn’t stand still for too long, more foliage was on
its way.
“You’re
out of your mind!” He yelled, a particularly nice peace lily meeting its doom
to his right. The room was slowly becoming less inviting. The pillows from the
sofa were everywhere, uprooted from their usual place, and glass was shattered
across the fine mahogany floorboards she’d insisted were so pretty at the time.
Lydia
launched another pot, this time a hand-sized grenade-like cactus, pre-empting
his movements and hitting Tom squarely in the chest. The cry of pain echoed
through their apartment. I do hope the
neighbours are out.
“Aargh! Seriously,” He
panted, doubled over while brushing spines and dirt off his striped shirt. “Who reacts like this? It was just a phone-call.”
“I heard
her voice, Tom! I’ve heard it before, you’re clearly fucking that bitch!” The
moment Tom’s back was turned, Lydia seized the opportunity, pushing the wheeled
armchair directly at him. It slammed with a large thud.
“And
what,” he snarled, looking up at her immaculate face through his now tousled
black hair. “You immediately jump to us having an affair when I just forked out
about one-and-a-half grand so we can go on a honeymoon for our future wedding?
Call me crazy, but that’s one expensive fucking cover-up.”
He
waited for a response, and like clockwork, the insanity melted into crocodile
tears. Lydia collapsed into a ball, crying while her floaty summer dress pooled
around her like magma. Whatever this whole act was, it was damned theatrical.
“Ah,
we’re at this stage now.” He walked
to her, sidestepping broken petals to her side, and squatted a foot or so away.
Make up lined her face in smudged bars, and her hair was everywhere, in a
haystack. She looked at him, before dispersing into more floods of tears.
Sighing, he put his hand on her shoulder.
“So what did you get for me then?”
He smiled, attempting to alleviate the situation. Tom looked around the
devastation. It was the same more or less every time. I’m going to have to do another plant run, I guess.
Lydia
looked at her soon-to-be-husband and buried her face in his chest. Great, another shirt ruined. She gracelessly
groped around behind her for something, before pulling out a now trampled
package covered in dirty shards. Towelling peeped through the torn paper.
Cringing
a little at the saccharine gift, he forced a grin. “See, we needed new… err…
his and hers towels! Awh, it’s sweet.”
At that,
the tears broke off abruptly, and she took back the parcel, “I’ll sell these
ones on eBay. I mean, they’re a bit ruined now, and then we can start planning
for the trip, yeah?”
Tom rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Listed: February 13th 2013
One set of La Sanza lingerie, Red Lace, 32-C. Used.
Description:
Only worn once, this set should spice up any romance. Not
needed any longer.
The rain
pattered against the windows, filling the awkward silence between Vince and Ellie.
Every now and then, lighting would ignite the features of the room, just long
enough to silhouette his dark, hulking frame against the walls.
The pair
sat on the end of a hardly unmade bed. “I’ll… sleep on the sofa then?” Vince
mumbled, looking at his feet. His eyes were full of tears. “Don’t be silly,”
Ellie comforted, grabbing his cool hand in her own freezing ones. Vince
flinched a little.
Wordlessly,
Vince grasped the duvet and drew it round the two of them, cutting off the rain
and the darkness to a safe-feeling hideaway. He looked at the barely visible
features of her face. “I wish I’d found out sooner. I bet I’ve screwed you up a
lot.”
Ellie
shook her head, cuddling up to him. Her body was like ice against his. “I don’t
feel you have. At least now we can start this new chapter together. And heck,
we’ve roomed together for years, I’m not going anywhere just yet.” The tall,
cue-balled man smiled at the slight girl beside him, and drew her in. Ellie
breathed in sharply. She was going to
miss the cuddles, that was sure.
“How do
you know?” Maybe it wasn’t what she thought it was. “Well, obviously this is a bit of a giveaway, but did you
know before today?”
Vince
nodded vaguely, still not looking at her. His fists clenched and unclenched,
and Ellie could feel a tear or two hit her leg. It wasn’t fair. Was she
defective? Some girl who can only ever chase the wrong thing? He was big,
protective, and good looking, but didn’t want her. Couldn’t want her. Ellie shied away from the thought, and let the night
run on through the rain. Regardless, Ellie could hardly leave him now.
Listed: February 15th 2013
One soft-leather bondage set including: four bed-ties,
handcuffs, PVC bed-sheets and two cotton blindfolds. All black. Used
Description
This once-in-a-lifetime bundle comes at a very reasonable
price. Used twice, this item has been thoroughly cleaned and is in pristine
condition.
Selling due to unforeseen circumstances.
Riley
had never been so ready for anything in his life. The sheets were pressed, and
newly on, the candles around the room were lit. A gentle, if slightly brisk
breeze rolled through the slatted wooden blinds. Perfect.
Dong, Dong. 9 strikes.
Riley looked at the clock on the
far wall. Would he have time to use the loo? No, it would take him forever to
get back into position. It had taken all evening already. Besides, maybe she’d
be excited by the prospect of-
The door opened with a slam. The
woman looked utterly flustered, eyes half shut with headphones still in. Her
normal smart shoes weren’t on, replaced by worn, outdated trainers.
“Ugh, such a mess, traffic was
murder, and I can’t believe I was this late on Valentine’s Day.” She grumbled,
pottering around removing her shoes and gloves and various other trappings. “So
what was this big Valentine’s Day surprise-” Her voice faltered, looking first
around the room, and then to the bed.
Tied, ankles and wrists against
each bedpost, with naught but a pillow covering his cock, was her boyfriend of
6 months. Riley grinned, guessing she had seen, not that he could tell through
the blindfold across his eyes. Any minute now… any minute.
“What the HELL is wrong with you?” she screamed. Vi looked at around the bed,
before snatching the blindfold off of the thirty-something year old man. “Seriously,
what the Hell?” Instead of the grinning, slightly naughty face he expected from
her, she looked shocked, even angry at him.
“You don’t know me at all, do you? DO YOU?” He cowered away from the biting fury in her voice. Now
what was he going to do? “This was
supposed to be our Valentine’s Day. Our first one!”
Vi shook her head, before
storming out of the bedroom, snuffing a couple of rose-and-cinnamon scented
candles on the way.
“Well shit.” He mumbled, before
he tugged at each wrist brace with a frown. He’d secured the ones on his wrists
with his teeth, but now there was not a snowball’s chance in Hell he could
untie them again. “Vi? Can you at least untie these? We can talk about it,
right?”
The silence said it all. Any
second now, he expected to hear the slam of a door, or the phone ringing for Vi
to talk to her mother about staying over. Riley’s eyes filled with tears. “We
can talk about it, Vi, please come back!”
He tugged fruitlessly at the
bindings, trying desperately to free himself to console his girlfriend. His
thoughts drifted to his coat pocket, inside of which was a sapphire and chrome
ring Vi had seen and loved a week or so ago, but now through his carelessness,
he’d lost her. Riley’s longish ash-blonde hair covered his face, and he waited
for the inevitable.
The door creaked, but he didn’t
raise his face. He couldn’t face her, not like this.
“Look up.”
All he could hear was the ticking
clock, but as he raised his face, his eyes brightened. The short, fiery-headed
woman was dressed from head-to-toe, or... well… toe-to-knee and then
belly-button-to-bust in leather. A top-hat perched on her curled hair, and on
her crotch, attached by harness, was the shiniest, largest strap-on dildo he
had ever seen. Riley gulped.
“You bought leather bindings? What ever happened to the chains, huh? God,
you’re an idiot. I’ll make you pay for that.”
Listed: February 15th 2013
18ct White-Gold Diamond Solitaire Engagement Ring Clarity
VS1
Description
Brand new white-gold engagement ring, never worn. Was not
wanted.
Tonight
is the night.
Tonight
is the night that she’ll marry me. That’s all there is to it.
I look
around the restaurant, couples all over the place happily eating, trading
stories and laughing. Getting to know
each other. We did the same three years ago, and it’s finally time. I think
we’re ready. Aha, here she comes now. Fuck, she’s beautiful too. The high-neck
red dress with the open shoulders and the frill-thing at the bottom, and her
black-brown hair all knotted like silk behind her. But she’s flushed, and keeps
glancing around the room.
“Hey
honey”, I say, mouth parched. I drank all the water in the first half an hour
waiting for her. She’s late, but I guess she had work to do.
“Bill,
this is… nice.” She doesn’t like the place. But we came here before. Maybe
that’s it. Maybe she just doesn’t like it here.
“We can go somewhere else.” I
offer to leave, to find another place, whichever is the most expensive. She’s
worth it.
I start
to my feet, and she sits down, so I guess that’s not it. I sit back down too,
and I my mind paints out a thousand different pictures. “Did you want a drink?
I can call the waiter over.” She nods, and when the fancily-dressed man
arrives, she asks for vodka, neat.
“So how
was work?” I stab at conversation. Maybe she’s just not feeling well. Women’s
problems, or stress, or she could’ve caught something. She doesn’t say anything
and gazes into the candle in the centre of the table.
“I’ve
fucked the boss.” Her voice twists, harsh, as though she had rehearsed that
phrase a dozen times. My fingers run across the little chestnut case in my
pocket, and I hear her say “fucked” half-a-hundred times until it doesn’t even
sound like a word any longer.
“Well, why?” I know why. Fucked. Fucked. Get out of my head. I
stand up, I feel sick, and it can’t be from the three whiskeys I’ve had waiting
for her.
“I just need someone else. You’re
so boring.” Boring. Fucked. My head’s spinning. I spend so
much on her, why doesn’t she love me? Why?
I stumble,
kicking a dessert cart in my haste to the bathroom. People are watching,
staring at me. I open the top of my shirt, breaking a button while I careen
towards the bathroom.
Like our
relationship.
Fucked.
Listed: February 14th 2013
One complete wardrobe of women’s clothing, sizes range from
8-12.
Description
I’m taking a leap of faith today. I’m hoping it’s the right
leap. Most clothing used to varying degrees.
That was
the last box. Elin waved the slightly
confused looking pick-up man away and shut the door. It felt so freeing,
knowing that was it. And whether he wanted to come or not, Elin knew she would
never be so restricted again. Spinning around the house, Elin started mixing up
flour and eggs in just her apron.
The
doorbell went, and at the ringing through the silence, Elin yelped, spilling a
little of the mixture on her “Baking for Beginners” book. He was home early,
what would she say. Could she just say it immediately? Oh damn, what if it was
a mistake?
Elin
steadied herself, knowing either way, she would be fine. Well. Mostly. She could still work from
anywhere, so it all depended on Patrick’s decision. With a sure spring in her
step, she waltzed toward the door, and opened it.
“Elin?
You’re-…” The sentence hung in the air. Elin spun around and curtsied with her
air-dress. Patrick’s broad face split into a cheeky grin. “Oh, I see, well
happy Valentine’s Day to you too.” He pressed his lips against hers, and shut
the door.
Well, so far so good, she thought,
wandering a little behind him into their shared bedroom. “Good day, dear?” his
deep, silk voice seemed musical. “Better now you’re back.”
“I’m
glad of the random nudity. Good surprise.. yeah, good.” He grinned again,
stripping down to his boxers. The naked girl walked through to their room, and
stared at her boyfriend, her sapphire eyes bright in their pastel-shaded
boudoir.
“What
about… permanently?” Her voice softened, and she toed the carpet, looking
anywhere but his face. “What, as in… nudism?”
Mistake mistake, abort! “N-not
necessaril-…” She looked back up at him, and, as naked as the day he was born,
opened a box revealing a simple silver ring.
“Permanent
sounds good to me.” Patrick locked his soft granite-eyes onto hers and decided
to marry his slightly unconventional partner.
