It lay in pieces.
The
handle was smashed beyond repair, and a few shards still dug into the wall from
the throw. It was difficult to tell why I was so choked over just a china teapot.
I couldn’t
hear footsteps, and none of the doors were opening. The same calm had settled as if I had stepped outside after a snowstorm. Muffled. The air was dusty, mingled with a tang of iron and her favourite aromatic ginseng. I cast my gaze from where I
laid. Chairs were tipped in every direction, the table itself was on its side. At
some point, the crystalline light above had been taken down, but I couldn’t see
where it was.
The light
from outside dampened the room in pastel shades, not really bright enough to show me what
happened, but enough that I saw every picture of me that hung around the room was
ruined. A fork stuck out of my forehead in the family photo above the sofa; and
that triggered everything.
Darrel
told me I wasn’t his father. He screamed for his brother and screamed for
himself. I remember I told them the truth, and they blamed me for it. I think I
do too, really.
The back
of my hand was chafed, a little raw. It was Julie’s locket, open with me and
the boys inside. What else could I tell them? It clicked shut, but I knew I couldn’t
really shut her out. I’m not even supposed to yet; I’m still new to being
widowed.
Everything
I felt must’ve hit Darrel over a hundred times. The room was evidence enough of
that. I wish I knew where he was, he was ever the delicate child. I wanted to sort the chairs, fix the
pictures. But I needed to get my priorities straight.
My face
was lined from the grooves in the planks on the floor. Did I sleep here all night?
Probably. I just hope everyone else found somewhere to stay. I must’ve been out
for the count. Dirt drifted off me as I rose, but as I did, I felt a dagger
between my ribs. Shaking, I looked down.
Part of
the teapot stuck out, cut through the cotton, skin and flesh. I wondered how
deep the thing was lodged. It was kinda funny, in a way. It trickled blood a
bit like the dregs at the end of the pot. I grit my teeth and yanked. A spray
of blood, but it wasn’t that bad after all.
Still.
It wasn’t that which hurt the most.
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